WELL?! WHICH FRIEND OF MINE ARE YOU?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BUZZING?! GAH!!!
1. If I asked you for a can of delicious corn, what would you say? "Fuck you, asscake! This ain't your corn!" "What the hell are you doing in my house?" "Of course, my love! I would do anything for you!" "I can't walk! Look, it's right next to me. You can get it!" "What is 'corn?' You guys have weird shit here." "Why, I'll just get that for myself, thanks! Man, I'm awesome!" "Only if you promise me your soul." "Of course, my lord!" 2. How would you ideally spend time with me? I'd start by asking you who the hell you are and what you're doing in my house. Beating you to a bloody pulp. Well, I'm with you all the time, anyway! Might as well make the most of it! Some chips and soda with me and I'm happy. Trying to get you to steal from little kids. First, I'd start by kissing your neck... Two words: Anal probe. Praising you endlessly. 3. I'm drowning! Do something! Simply beam you up. Try to get out of the water! Offer to save you in exchange for your soul. Keep my foot on your head. I can't! I'm still in the cooler! I would sacrifice myself to save my master! I dunno. Call 911, probably. Maybe ignore it. It's not my business anyway. I would pull you out and proceed to administer mouth to mouth... with sexy results! 4. It's my birthday. Pick a gift: Mustard. Something from fairvilla, probably. You can't open it until tonight... ;) Blaster ray. Why did you invite me?! How did you get my address?! Anything you want... muahahahaha. A pat on the back for being so cool! God, it's good to be me! There is nothing too good or expensive for you, o great one! Anthrax. 5. My best feature is: I haven't the slightest. Your digestive system. Everything about you! Oh, I can't choose! I'm just so amazing! Your human organs. Your soul. Your mortality. What's not to love about you? There is one BIG thing that I'm a particular fan of, though... ;) 6. Do you trust me? Of course! I don't lie! I'd trust you with my life, my love, and my deepest secrets. Are you kidding? I PRAY to you! About as far as I could throw you. Humans lie. That's why we experiment on them. I don't even know you! Well, considering you made me for your own consumption... Yeah, sure, why not... As long as I get your soul. 7. Any closing thoughts? I hate you. Who are you? I'm awesome! Give me your soul. Eat me! You are like GOD! Thanks for the organs. I love you more than anything.
1. If I asked you for a can of delicious corn, what would you say? "Fuck you, asscake! This ain't your corn!" "What the hell are you doing in my house?" "Of course, my love! I would do anything for you!" "I can't walk! Look, it's right next to me. You can get it!" "What is 'corn?' You guys have weird shit here." "Why, I'll just get that for myself, thanks! Man, I'm awesome!" "Only if you promise me your soul." "Of course, my lord!"
"Fuck you, asscake! This ain't your corn!" "What the hell are you doing in my house?" "Of course, my love! I would do anything for you!" "I can't walk! Look, it's right next to me. You can get it!" "What is 'corn?' You guys have weird shit here." "Why, I'll just get that for myself, thanks! Man, I'm awesome!" "Only if you promise me your soul." "Of course, my lord!"
2. How would you ideally spend time with me? I'd start by asking you who the hell you are and what you're doing in my house. Beating you to a bloody pulp. Well, I'm with you all the time, anyway! Might as well make the most of it! Some chips and soda with me and I'm happy. Trying to get you to steal from little kids. First, I'd start by kissing your neck... Two words: Anal probe. Praising you endlessly.
3. I'm drowning! Do something! Simply beam you up. Try to get out of the water! Offer to save you in exchange for your soul. Keep my foot on your head. I can't! I'm still in the cooler! I would sacrifice myself to save my master! I dunno. Call 911, probably. Maybe ignore it. It's not my business anyway. I would pull you out and proceed to administer mouth to mouth... with sexy results!
4. It's my birthday. Pick a gift: Mustard. Something from fairvilla, probably. You can't open it until tonight... ;) Blaster ray. Why did you invite me?! How did you get my address?! Anything you want... muahahahaha. A pat on the back for being so cool! God, it's good to be me! There is nothing too good or expensive for you, o great one! Anthrax.
5. My best feature is: I haven't the slightest. Your digestive system. Everything about you! Oh, I can't choose! I'm just so amazing! Your human organs. Your soul. Your mortality. What's not to love about you? There is one BIG thing that I'm a particular fan of, though... ;)
6. Do you trust me? Of course! I don't lie! I'd trust you with my life, my love, and my deepest secrets. Are you kidding? I PRAY to you! About as far as I could throw you. Humans lie. That's why we experiment on them. I don't even know you! Well, considering you made me for your own consumption... Yeah, sure, why not... As long as I get your soul.
7. Any closing thoughts? I hate you. Who are you? I'm awesome! Give me your soul. Eat me! You are like GOD! Thanks for the organs. I love you more than anything.
